How is this poem going to help me?
The poem creates an analogy between life and a journey down a sidewalk. It is synonymous with self-awareness. It is about the choices we make in life. It is realizing we don’t need to go down that same street, meaning we don’t need to (repeatedly) engage in the same choices that create suffering for ourselves and others.
It encourages us to ask ourselves: How many times do I keep making choices that only lead me into “the same hole in the sidewalk” – the same situation?
Even if we are aware and not completely blind to the holes in our sidewalk, we still fall into them, often we shame ourselves or blame others without understanding (or admitting) that there was another street, another choice.
There’s a Hole in My Sidewalk
Chapter One
I walk down the street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I fall in.
I am lost… I am helpless.
It isn’t my fault.
It takes forever to find a way out.
Chapter Two
I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I pretend I don’t see it.
I fall in again.
I can’t believe I am in the same place.
But it isn’t my fault.
It still takes a long time to get out.
Chapter Three
I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I see it is there.
I still fall in… it’s a habit.
My eyes are open.
I know where I am.
It is my fault…
I get out immediately.
Chapter Four
I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I walk around it.
Chapter Five
I walk down another street.
― Portia Nelson, There’s a Hole in My Sidewalk: The Romance of Self-Discovery
Portia Nelson (1920 – 2001) was a renaissance woman: author, singer, composer, lyricist, painter, photographer, and actress. Over the years she wrote the music and lyrics for many revues, television specials, and films. Portia authored the much-loved book “There’s a Hole in My Sidewalk: The Romance of Self-Discovery,” originally published in the 1970’s. There’s a Hole in My Sidewalk was made into a musical based on the book, and Portia directed, created the music and lyrics, and performed in the production at the York Theatre in Manhattan. This amazing poem has been praised by psychotherapists, metaphysicians, and legions of fans from every walk of life. It is used in numerous 12-step substance-abuse programs, and has been quoted in such diverse books as “The Tibetan Book of Living and Dying,” and the preface of “My Lives,” Roseanne’s best-selling autobiography. It also appears on a poster in Dr. Maguire’s office (Robin Williams) in the film Good Will Hunting (1997). John Gray, Ph.D., author of “Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus,” says: “There’s a Hole in My Sidewalk” explains in a simple and concise way, how life works. It is full of practical wisdom that will allow you to embrace and change your life.”
What is a great warning sign for ourselves that we have fallen into the same hole again?
When we hear ourselves repeatedly complaining about the same subject, about our partner, our boss, our colleague, the organisation etc., then a precious warning sign is presenting itself. It is a moment to embrace, to stop and to reflect:
What is really happening here? Have I acted from a place with little to no awareness of what I am/was doing? Am I so very upset because I have I missed a chance to stand-up for myself, to trust myself and my intuition, to speak up, to engage differently?
Am I doing the same things, the same way, over and over again to then realizing I am in the same trap as before, getting the same results? The same anger, the same frustration, the same self-shame, the same reactions?
Realizing that I have had the choice (this is the hardest to admit) but decided differently is the big next step (Chapter three).
Did I have an intuitive insight and still chose to ignore it? Once we have created that awareness and understood that we have decided to step into the same hole over and over again, we have discovered our pattern: Taking responsibility for our action. Now we can avoid it. We realize, that we have a choice.
To get started
Read the poem several times. Let it sink in. What does the hole in the sidewalk poem represent for you?
Ask yourself:
What streets do I keep walking down?
What deep holes do I keep falling into?
Where am I feeling lost … and helpless….and thinking it isn’t my fault?
Where am I pretending I don’t see….and not believing this could be happening….and yet it is happening again?
What habits are no longer serving me?
Answering these questions will create self-awareness.
Now I have the choice.
What am I now choosing to walk around?
What new streets am I choosing to walk down?
It is my choice: I walk down another street.
